matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
