You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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