I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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