Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
