so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
