nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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