what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
