Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
