i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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