it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
