I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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