Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
