I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
