Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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