I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
