worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
