Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
