singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
