He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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