well I can't set my house on fire every night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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