So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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