oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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