YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
