no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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