Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
