I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
