Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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