its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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