Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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