Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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