i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The feeling are messing with the penis
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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