Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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