So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
