I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
