didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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