Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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