shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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