I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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