He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
