she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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