Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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