I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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