U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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