Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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