Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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