i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
