Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bring me that man meat
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
