I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he shaved USA in his pubs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
