i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
