and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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