I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
