I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
