They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We have started to decorate penises.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
