but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize