break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
