I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
