It's Friday. Sex?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
