Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When did angry sex become our thing?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
