My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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