I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
