last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Help me help you realize you are a moron
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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