it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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