I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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