She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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