im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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