and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I look better un-naked...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You may now shotgun with the bride
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
