Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
