This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
